Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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