cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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