now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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