As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
