I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
