How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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