Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
We're too hungover to prance.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
