We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
