i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
