She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
