Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I think my moral compass just broke
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
