Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
i think i just lost a toe
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
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