I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
