I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
