Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
