she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
