And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
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