You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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