3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
