Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
