I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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