scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
