1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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