just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
