we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
