so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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