I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
