after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
