He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
