i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
How does it feel to date your dad?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
