He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize