for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I see more hoeing in ur future
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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