Only a mothe r could love this liver
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
