Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
