Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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