we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
