if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
