I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize