This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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