i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
