It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
