I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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