we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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