Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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