Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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