there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Randomize
