I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
