I heard we made out
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I just blew my weed a kiss
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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