did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
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