Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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