It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
