If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
