i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
