i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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