I wish life had little blips of pornography
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
