Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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