so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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