Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
