hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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