I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
