so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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