...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
